Grieving the loss of a celebrity can always be a difficult time, but if the celebrity also inspired you creatively, there is an added complexity to saying goodbye. How do we deal with the passing of an artist that potentially helped us form and define our own creative identity? It can be an incredibly painful, and confronting process, but there are healthy ways we can navigate this type of loss and celebrate the work of an admired personality.
Like processing any type of grief, it’s important to remind ourselves that any and all emotional responses are normal. You may initially find yourself experiencing shock and disbelief. You may also feel intense sadness or anger. And if the death was unexpected or the person was particularly young, it may be difficult to comprehend the loss. At this time, acknowledge what is showing up for you. Demonstrate self-compassion by accepting your emotions. Remember - there is no ‘right’ way to grieve as it will be unique for each individual.
It’s also important to remember that although you may not have known them personally, the attachment you have to this celebrity is still valid and significant. We can form parasocial relationships with celebrities when we feel connected to their lives and creative contributions from afar. At times, it might even feel like the celebrity is a good friend. Although it feels quite significant for us, be prepared for those around you to not quite understand your experience. Mourning a celebrity’s passing can be considered disenfranchised grief, which means that because it doesn’t resemble a more ‘traditional’ loss like the death of a loved one, it can be considered an invalid loss by others. This can be a very isolating experience for those grieving. Remain true to your feelings and give yourself permission to grieve in a way that makes sense to you.
So how can we alleviate the weight of the grieving process? Like any challenging moments in your life, first and foremost self-care is super important at this time. Make sure you're sleeping solidly, eating well, exercising and reducing alcohol and recreational drugs. Turning to activities that bring you joy can also be beneficial, like spending time in nature, maintaining creative pursuits or seeking out family and friends.
Our identity can become attached to celebrities, especially if they helped us define our own creativity. Their art can also represent happy memories throughout our life, so their loss can almost feel like we’re losing part of our past. Spending time celebrating the life and creative accomplishments of the person in question can help you focus on what they brought to the world instead of the grief associated with the loss. Watch their movies, listen to their music and read their books. Revel in the art that inspired you and reflect on how they helped shape you into the creative soul you are today. When Olivia Newton-John finally succumbed to cancer in 2022, I turned to her music that inspired me as a young girl who had big dreams of being a singer. After she passed, I found solace in singing her back catalogue at full volume, which provided me with a profound ritual to say thank you and goodbye in a meaningful and personal way.
For many working professionals, memories may even include having personally known or having collaborated with the person in question. When Barry Humphries passed away this year, it was particularly heartwarming to read the outpouring of love for Barry expressed by several Facebook friends through endless anecdotes about the joy he brought to their creative ventures. Again, reflecting on these good times can help you turn the grief into something more life-affirming.
At this time, social media can play a positive role. Seek out like-minded people who share both your grief and celebration for the person’s work. After Matthew Perry’s shock death last week, I have seen my social media feeds flood with Matthew Perry, Chandler Bing and Friends appreciation pages. Here, fans have the opportunity to share their warmest memories of Matthew and celebrate his body of work. Experiencing the loss collectively eases the weight of grief, reduces the isolation grief can generate and provides a community to respectfully pay tribute to the person’s legacy. On the other hand, if you’re finding social media and the coverage of the death too overwhelming, disconnect immediately. Taking a break from the endless reports and details of the passing will help you process the loss without the constant, painful reminder.
Turning to your own creativity at this time can also be a beautiful way to pay tribute to the person’s memory while helping you process any difficult emotions you may be experiencing. Drawing, painting, or writing a poem is a healthy way to commemorate their memory and channel your own feelings. Write them a letter expressing how much they meant to you and how you felt inspired by their work. If you’re a performer, learn some of their songs or consider creating a show to pay tribute to your inspiration. We’ve lost many amazing artists whose back catalogue of work remains popular to this day, such as Tina Turner, Prince, Aretha Franklin, David Bowie and of course, Olivia. Keeping these songs alive continues their legacy while helping you celebrate your deep connection with the late artist.
Seeking meaning-making related projects can also help channel your grief into something more productive. Many people connect with, volunteer for, or donate to charities either created by the late celebrity (such as Olivia Newton-John’s Cancer Wellness & Research Centre), charities created in the person’s memory (like The Mercury Phoenix Trust created in memory of Freddie Mercury, which raises money to fight HIV/AIDS) or charities connected to the way the person died (for example, many fans donated to cancer charities after David Bowie passed away from the disease in 2016).
And finally, like all challenging moments in life, turn to your significant support networks like family and friends. Professional support can also assist you navigate your grief, in the form of a qualified counsellor or psychologist. Get in contact with Centred Stage today to help you process grief or any other difficulties associated with a life in the performing arts industry.
If this article has triggered anything for you and you need immediate assistance, please contact…
Lifeline on 13 11 14
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