Today I read the most extraordinary article about composer Nigel Westlake and the loss of his young son Eli, who was intentionally run down and killed by a drunk driver in 2008. Struggling to make sense of such an unfathomable loss and living with a type of grief that no parent should ever have to endure, Westlake lost his connection to his craft of composing and creating music.
But in his grief, Westlake turned to the music of singer/songwriter Lior. Having been introduced to his work by Eli before his death, Lior’s music became associated with the loss and love for his son. Seeing Lior perform at a fundraising concert to inaugurate a foundation created in Eli’s memory, Westlake was struck by one particular piece performed by Lior during the encore - Avinu Malkeinu - a Jewish liturgical prayer. The song deeply resonated with Westlake, and became a calling for him to return back to his identity as a composer and musician. Westlake approached Lior to collaborate, which lead the creation of Compassion - an orchestral song cycle set to ancient Hebrew and Arabic texts - that explores compassion as an intrinsic element of humanity.
Reading this extraordinary article made me reflect on the importance of music and how we seek it out at times of emotional need, whether they be moments of joy or heartbreak.
I have experienced my own connection to music during a time of loss. In the months before someone particularly close to me unexpectedly passed away, I had purchased the then new album, Lonerism, by Aussie artist, Tame Impala. In the weeks after their passing, I repeatedly turned to this album for solace, for answers, and for peace.
One significant song was Apocalypse Dreams.
“All those times you wake up mystified
Oh, it feels so real in my sleep
Never held something so close I couldn’t keep
Into the day with the strangest feeling
Do you really live without the fear that
Everything is changing?
And there’s nothing I can do.
My world is turning pages
While I am just sitting here.”
What was fascinating to me about my relationship with Apocalypse Dreams was that although it had a significant emotional weight to it, it also transported me to a place of safety to sit with my grief.
The benefits to listening to music in these difficult times are plentiful. When we are in the throes of strong emotion, music provides a safe space to emote. Music facilitates the myriad of emotional responses associated with grief, such as anger, sadness, shock and confusion, eventually leading to peace and acceptance of the loss.
We can connect with lyrics that reflect our experiences and emotional states - lyrics that feel like they were written just for us.
We can honour our loved ones by immersing ourselves in the music our loved ones connected to as a way to feel closer to them.
Music also stirs memories, linking us with the positive memories of our past.
Music is just as beneficial for us physically as well as emotionally. Research shows music reduces anxiety and muscle tension, which boosts our immune system and regulates our nervous, digestive and respiratory systems. Music also reduces symptoms that accompany grief such as stress and depression.
Do you turn to music at times of need? Do you have a song or an artist that has helped you work through difficult emotions? If you feel comfortable to share, leave me a comment below x
To read the original article, click here.
To listen to Nigel Westlake and Lior’s piece, Compassion, click here.
To listen to Apocalypse Dreams, click here.
Comentarios